The Art of Being True to Yourself

"I've heard her called a quitter for leaving...an aimless wanderer. But not all who wander are aimless. Especially not those who seek truth beyond tradition...beyond definition...beyond the image." ~from Mona Lisa Smile

I would like to think that I am like Julia Roberts' character, Katherine Ann Watson: "A free-thinking art professor (who) teaches conservative 50's Wellesley girls to question their traditional societal roles."* Katherine's ideal was to "inspire her students to look beyond the image of what is and consider the possibilities of what could be"**...which is what I hope for my students as well.

I am afraid, however, that I'm more like Betty Warren, who bought into her parents' illusions until her own reality stripped them away...and learned that "personal happiness lies beyond other people's expectations." Or Giselle Levy, who used sex to feel loved and "lives for physical bliss uncolored by emotional attachment...in danger of being deeply shattered when she is rejected by the unattainable man she thinks can heal her hidden pain." And then there's Nancy Abbey, living a lonely life and feeling betrayed by the elite society she was born into...and Connie Baker, whose "low self esteem keeps her from recognizing the moment when a special love is offered to her."**

But Katherine received a reality check of her own when she was told that her attitude made it impossible for others to be honest with her. Bill Dunbar fabricated an entire life of heroism to hide his own insecurities.

And when Joan Brandwyn revealed that she made the choice for herself to marry and have children rather than pursue her law degree, Katherine realized her own arrogance in assuming that all the Wellesley girls were blindly following in their mothers' footsteps with complete disregard for their own aspirations.

Perhaps I am all of these women, and Bill as well...teaching students to value their creativity - express their individuality - while taking my own creativity and individuality for granted and making assumptions that all of my students want what I have to give them...kicking and screaming my way through stripping away the illusions of my culture...learning to heal my own hidden pain, overcome my insecurities, and find true intimacy.

I'm tired of hiding who I really am...from myself most of all. Underneath it all, I do seek truth beyond tradition...beyond definition...beyond the image.


Sources:   * IMDb "Mona Lisa Smile"   ** Mona Lisa Smile - Official Site